So it’s been a long, long time since my last post – an entire year more or less. I could make an excuse and say I was super busy, which I kind of have been, but the truth is I just really wasn’t feeling it. A LOT has happened in my life since that last post, some good some bad. This all led me down the rabbit hole of ‘What is the point?’ My love of writing well and truly took a backseat as I focused on my ever-growing flight response to pain.
When I am hurt, and I mean deeply hurt there is no fight in me. Just the undeniable feeling of wanting to leave everything associated with the situation behind – as fast as I can. My brain has to be constantly thinking about something, anything other than what I have just been through and so that is what I did.
In short, it has now been a year since I moved out of my parent’s house. I am now sat quarantining in my rented two up, two down end-terraced house (complete with garden that I STILL don’t have a lawnmower for… thanks for being my gardener dad!) I was lonely, but at that moment, I wanted nothing more than to be alone.
My landlord is, I must say, the KING among landlords. He is the nicest guy ever; I don’t think I could have possibly fallen luckier! I have complete full rein of the house, I can decorate it however I want (doesn’t have to be magnolia!!!) and I can even house a pet (which was exactly what I did to combat the loneliness, eeeee!)
Now I have nearly completed a full year(!!) of being a first time dog mamma to a gorgeous, black and white, total oddball, Papillon pooch named Marty. I always had the intention of getting a lil pooch and it felt like the perfect time now I had my own space, my own garden and a headspace in need of desperate company.
I don’t think I have ever made a decision this good in my life. (One year on I can say that at least!)
In the early days there were a few unexpected teething problems… At 7 months old he came with a wee bit of baggage. He was scared of EVERYTHING. My family, their dogs, my friends, his own squeaky toys, his lead (both flexi and normal), old people, children, bird’s shadows, his own shadow – whatever you can think of I guarantee this kid was scared of it. He was petrified of the world and I was petrified I had no idea how to help him.
Skip to present day and I am sat typing this on a GORGEOUS sunny day while Marty patrols his back garden – barking at cats passing along the adjoining fence and happily playing with the squeakiest toy known to man, my ears may soon start to bleed. Not only does he love going on walks he can be let off the lead to run and play with other dogs in the field, he is IN LOVE with my family and their two dogs and he is now the most confident, (sometimes maybe a tad too much) sassiest lil man with mannerisms that definitely emulate a cat more than a dog… but hey, that’s what makes him him. He is still getting used to having some of my friends round and we still have work to do when it comes to passers by, but when I look at the difference of now to back then I must say I am one proud dog mamma indeed.
I couldn’t possibly ask for a better ride or die, quarantine buddy, protector of my home, sharer of my life, all that crap. We’ve helped each other out of our roughest spots and for that I am forever thankful. I have never believed in the phrase ‘everything happens for a reason’ more than I do now. We’ve just got to see what else life throws at us, starting with this quarantine. We are definitely getting on one another’s nerves, like everyone seems to be at the moment, but I just know we can get through anything. 🐶💕
Quarantine got me like … 🙈😂↗️