The end of this month marks my 25th year on this Earth and though I am nearly the last one of my friends to turn the big 2.5. – that hasn’t stopped me from feeling very very old. I mean, Leonardo DiCaprio doesn’t date women over 25, so I only have one year left before that boat sinks …
I know I’m not physically old but I have come to the conclusion that I, along with many other people my age, feel old for what we have achieved. But why? Why is there a mapped out plan for this age? And why do we feel we need to stick to it? This is a tradition several decades old. Has it been drilled into us after seeing our parents do it? Or maybe we’ve seen too many examples in too many Netflix binges?
Whatever it is, I am trying so hard to tell myself that this doesn’t have to be me. I don’t have a mid-weight job at a prestigious company with a killer paycheck. I don’t have my own gorgeous house with floor to ceiling windows overlooking some amazing location – packed with Insta worthy furniture. And I don’t have a Tiffany ring on my finger that rivals Blake Lively’s. But that is 100% FINE. What I do have is a job; albeit one that provides not a lot of money, but one that I enjoy everyday nevertheless. I’m currently on the hunt for my own place to rent with my very lovely boyfriend (although don’t tell him I called him lovely, can’t have that going to his head, ha!) so overall things are going quite nicely. I am making my own traditions.
I may sound positive writing this but it has taken a LONG time for me to get to this place. I still have days where I feel like absolute sh*t and that I’m going nowhere with my life. I figure this is all part of my quarter life crisis. (PS. I don’t expect to live to 100, as some clever sod pointed out, but I do hope to live past 50, so it’s no mid life crisis yet thank you). However, where most people’s life crises’ involve extravagant purchases: a flash car, a tattoo or a drastic new haircut. Mine, no word of a lie, seems to be involving my clothes.
No guys, I’m really not joking or putting this on for the blog. I kid you not; my inner child is officially HERE for this 90’s/00’s comeback. And perhaps I’m not the only millennial falling for this trending nostalgia trip. Why else is it gaining more and more traction?!
So far I have bought myself a cheerleader style check skirt from Topshop giving me ultimate Cher from Clueless vibes. I have had the privilege of rummaging through my grandma’s old clothes where I found this insanely comfortable ski jumper and an acid bright polo shirt. (This weather really needs to start changing so I can wear these bad boys.) Then there’s the pair of 7cm platform trainers from Schuh that I plan on getting for my birthday. I am officially living my 8-year-old life! I feel like I’m a mere hop skip and jump away from a whole shell suit at this point.
I am also fully intending for my birthday to be celebrated with a day sesh to York dressed in 90’s garms (we’ll see if anyone else gets on board or whether I’m going to be the perfect walking picture of the time Ginger Spice left the group…)
Isn’t it strange? The 8-year-old girl I currently long to dress like, was the one imagining my perfect mid 20’s life. And this not so perfect mid 20’s gal wants nothing more than to be the 8-year-old, whose only irritation in the world was how she couldn’t clap her god damn Furby to sleep.
In 2018 everything seems a lot harder than it once was, but that hasn’t stopped a lot of my school friends from getting the job of their dreams, marrying off, popping out a few babies or investing in new builds. I know I’ve decided to go down the self-employed route, which was always going to be difficult. But that hasn’t stopped me wondering, why can’t my success happen sooner? Am I expecting too much from my life and myself? Perhaps the encouragement I had as a child to ‘aim high’ is shooting my happiness in my moonbooted foot…
With all this said, I really doubt I will stop chasing my dreams anytime soon. YOLO and all that. If I don’t try now, I never will. My biggest obstacle is most definitely comparing my life and achievements to that of others, when their circumstances and views are completely different to mine. At the end of the day there are probably people looking to me, wishing for what I have. It’s a constant millennial cycle and one that I really hope I can get out of, or grow out of, very soon.
What about you guys? Have any of you experienced a quarter life crisis like this? And what did you decide to do about it? Let me know in the comments below!